My Advice to the new SAHM

I am by no means the expert on the Stay at Home Mom. I have only been doing it for a little over 3 years.  This is just thoughts I felt compelled to write down. Nothing you read here is new or profound information. It is also important to note that this advice is for Christians.  I love Jesus, and all that I do is through the lenses of His glory.

Also to note, I love the working mom and fully support them. I am not a better mom than you because I stay at home.  I am just not there in this season of my life, and therefore, I cannot give advice there.

1)Know why you are a SAHM.  ---
The days are going to be long and often tough.  It is good to have a vision to look back on and remember why you are a SAHM.  It is not because you could not find a job or because you have no aspirations.  It is because for one reason or another, you have decided that this road is best  for your family.  Know why and remind yourself every single day.

2) Be ready to face criticism.---
You will hear people say, "I could never do that." or "Wow, that  must be nice.  Wish I could do that."  Focus on your why.  There will be people who think that you are doing something unworthy of a title.  There will also be moms who wish they were in your shoes, and therefore, may respond with a tinge of jealousy.  Have grace on those that do not understand or are not where you are.

3)Remember that what you are doing is so very important.---
God has given you these children.  They will only be little for a moment, and you are preparing them for the world ahead of them.  It is a noble, worthy, and highly important task.  No, the world will not applaud you for it.  You will not receive a paycheck.  Yet, you are spending precious time investing in the souls of your children, the legacy that you will leave behind. Wiping noses, drying tears, and coloring is the work of God's kingdom. This is your daily ministry. This of course, goes for the working mom too.

4)Support other moms.---
Support the working mom, the stay at home mom that does things differently than you, the formula feeding mom, the breast feeding mom, the cloth diapering mom, the organic mom, and the mom who feeds her kids Chef Boyardee.  You may feel strongly about something and think another mom should feel that way, but guess what? She might not. That is ok. She may one day feel the way you do about cloth diapers, but just because she is not there yet, it does not make her a bad mom.  We are all learning and deciding what is best for our families. Lets support each other in the process.

4) Take all that you hear with a grain of salt.--
You will be given a plethora of information, and often times, leave feeling fully convinced of what you were just told.  Don't read something and feel like you are a bad mom if you are not doing exactly what the article or book tells you to do. You can't do everything 100 percent.  You will drive everyone in your home crazy trying. The important thing is to continue learning and let God and your husband lead your family in the direction it should be going.

5)Learn what makes you a unique mom.---
Like I said, you can't do everything, but God has gifted you with gifts.  Some moms are passing gardening to their children while some are sharing the love of sewing.  Other moms may be good at crafting or pass on the love of books.  That doesn't mean we can't dabble a little in everything, but it also means we do not have to love everything!  The mom that raises chickens and feeds her family from the garden is not a better mom than you.  Your children are just as loved eating store bought veggies!  That mom is passing on Her passion to HER children.  Let her.  You pass down what you love to your littles.  It is just as worthy and special.

6)It will look like everyone is having more fun that you.---
Thanks to Instagram, blogs, and Facebook, it truly looks like everyone sits around all day and crafts, cooks, takes hikes, etc..  They don't.  You are getting a glimpse into other people's life.  We all can make our lives look like fairy tales.  You are not seeing that which isn't deemed worthy of a picture, and everybody is having those moments.  All. the. time.

7)It is ok to play with your children.---
I have to remember this most days.  I feel like I am not productive if I spend hours on the floor playing with trucks.   This is a lie.  You are a SAHM. You GET to do this!  Your little one will not love toy trucks forever.  Play with him. Teach him while you are playing.  Communicate love through time.  It is important.  I promise.

8) It is ok to clean your house.---
You are with your littles all day long, but you still need to see you take care of the home.  Let them help. You are sharing life with them, and responsibility is part of it.  It will never be spotless, and there will always be more to do.  Remember that too.

9)It is ok to talk to your friends on the phone and take a moment to flip through social media.---
We all read the "Dear Mom with the Iphone" blog.  I get what that lady was saying and support her.  Still though....you need moments to check back in the adult world.  That is ok!  The stay at home moms of the past did not have this luxury.  We can be grateful for it without taking advantage of it.

On a side not, I totally get why some moms take apps like Facebook off of their phone.  It can become addictive, and always want to be aware of that possibility.

10)Love your husband.---
It goes without saying.  He will Lord willing be the one there when the children are grown and move out of the house. Cultivate that relationship. Go on dates...even if those dates are at home after the kids are in bed. Place him above all other earthly relationships. It is supposed to be this way, and it is best for your children.

11) Take time away.---
Weekly if possible.  If your husband cannot give you that time, find a sitter or swap babysitting with friends.  You need time to refresh your mind.  What you do with your time away will be different each week.  Sometimes I need a Starbucks coffee and a journal.  Other times I need to plan my week.  Most of the time I choose to scour the thrift store.  It doesn't matter!  Just take time away! I think it makes me a better mom.

12)Take time with your girlfriends.---
I cannot get enough time with my girls sans the kiddos.  It is a good remedy for long weary days.

13) Find older moms.--
Titus 2:4 speaks about older women teaching younger women.  There is such a treasure there.  Find it and use it.  They have been there.  They understand where you are and can offer insight.

14) You will find yourself at the end of your rope.----
Parenting is hard. It was not meant to be easy. You will have those days that you feel like you cannot carry on.....days that leave you in tears with your hands up in the air.  You will grow so weary of potty training, whining children, and lack of sleep.  You will feel like it will never end. It will. It will not always be this way.

15) There will be days you feel on top of the world.---
You will have these days too.  Days where your children seem to be transformed into the most obedient and happiest beings on the earth.  You will feel like you are walking on a cloud on those days.  Enjoy it.  It will not always be this way.

16)You need Jesus.---
This is the most important piece of advice I can give a SAHM or for that matter, anyone.  You need Him.  Seek him at all times.  You may not have the time or the energy to pour through scripture and Strong's Biblical Concordance.  You were there once and you will be back there again.  For now, pray constantly and mediate on snippets of scripture.  Let your kids listen to scripture memory songs and the WAY radio station.  Worship him through the songs.  He is your life source.  He is the ultimate why of your reason for being where you are.  Have lots of people in your life that will point you back to him when you can't seem to get it together.

I love my job.  I am grateful for it.  I know that it isn't for everyone, and it is not possible for everyone.  I am blessed to spend my days with those I love most in the world, and I am learning more about myself and Jesus in the process.

Feel free to comment with what you have learned on this journey.  Like the song from High School Musical says, "We're all in this together."

My littlest loves, Hudson and Clara