Ramblings

He sleeps on his floor now.  He hasn't slept in his bed for months.

When he wakes up, he always ask if Daddy is still on his pillow.  Then, he asks for milk in Mommy's bed.  We usually snuggle while I drink my coffee.  I want to remember that.

We are all done with his paci.  He reads himself to sleep now.  We found him reading at 3 am one morning.  I love that he loves to read.

We are still working on potty training.  Some days.

I still feel like we spend days deep in the trenches.  He is still so jealous of sister, and he acts out because of this.  Clara prefers to be either held or smiled at all day, so this adds to the jealousy. Also,  Huds recently had a severe reaction to his pull ups.  This kept him in the er til 3 am..only to find out that in addition to this, he had an upper respiratory infection and an ear infection.  So, we've all been tired and cranky attempting to recover from his very scary "tee tee" issues.

Clara still wakes several times a night.  I've started giving her oatmeal, but it doesn't help.  I am beginning to wonder if she will ever actually make it through the night.  We've tried letting her cry....this baby will literally cry all night.  She is one strong willed girl! I haven't slept longer than a three hour stretch in six months.  I am not sure I remember what it is like to not feel tired.  I hope I remember one day soon.

I'm grateful for where we are, but I am not pretending it isn't tiring--physically and emotionally.  Raising up these little babies is no small, meaningless task, and if I want to give it my everything, it isn't going to be easy. Some days it is hard to keep perspective on what we are working towards.  Other days it is easier...especially, when I see all of these updates on Facebook where families of little ones are suffering from terrible illnesses and unforseen tragedy.  Heart-wrenching stuff that makes me cry and hold them tightly and repent of my terrible attitude and ungratefulness.

I am rambling.  These are thoughts I want to remember...especially, when these little ones are older and we don't have the same daily trials and struggles.  Oh, how I will miss these faces then: